Yoga for Grief: Denial
“You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by facing them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.”
— J. Donald Walters
A Recap From Yoga For Grief: Denial
Sometimes, we simply cannot believe what has happened to us. Our body goes into a state of shock or protective mode when we witness or hear something that's too painful to process. When something comes to an "end" — whether it's a death, breakup, divorce, etc. — our brains try to imagine what life will be like now as we adapt to a new normal without the ones we love at our side. Oftentimes, denial is considered the "first stage" of grief because it comes right at the start when the information is still fresh. Although not linear, the other stages include anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
This is why Yoga for Grief is here for wherever you are on the journey.
Today was our first practice together on the mat and our first opportunity to get to know each other. As we connected with our breath and bodies, we moved through a series of twists to help detox and release the stress and tension we carry within ourselves.
Practice today began in a seated position of your choice as we engaged in our Ujjayi breath. For those who are just being introduced, this "ocean breath" helps keep your mind calm and steady as you face challenges, with the intent that this focus follows us off our mats and into our daily lives.
After some gentle movement and before we started to sweat, we took a moment to look inward and to simply give our grief a name, to acknowledge it, and to have a short conversation with it so we could learn how to recognize it and meet ourselves where we are in wherever we are in the process of our grief.
Our grief understands our pain.
We're here to move toward understanding and accepting it, not trying to "get over" or forget about it.
We also assigned our grief or our emotions a specific color. Giving it a name or assigning it a color may have seemed strange at first, but doing so will allow you to connect with it a little more deeply. It makes it more real. This may be what you fear, but it’s also what you’re trying to move through, so do your best to give it a go. If you find yourself unable to do it on the first round, let go of personal judgment and try it again whenever you’re ready.
For further breathwork practice off the mat, consider box breathing.
To do so, inhale to the count of four (or whichever number aligns with you), hold for the same count at the top, exhale for the same length of time, then hold it again at the bottom. When you finish, repeat as needed, increasing or decreasing your count as you go.
This form of breathwork helps aid feelings of panic and stress, and can help you cope when you start to feel overwhelmed. This is a form of breathwork that can also be practiced at any time. You don’t have to be on your mat to feel overwhelmed, so you don’t need to be on your mat to practice box breathing.
When you feel ready, consider taking a journal and writing out all of your thoughts and feelings, especially as you finish your denial practice on the mat. It’s likely a lot of fresh emotions will come up as you think about all you’ve lost, so give yourself the space to get your thoughts in order. Again, be kind to yourself as you move through this.
If you’re seeking a journal entry for the first time, write about the name or the color you assigned to your emotions and your grief.
Write about where you feel those emotions in your body, why you named it as such or assigned that specific color, and let yourself write freely. No one else is reading this, unless you let them, so there’s no need to fear any judgment here.
It’s okay if this is the hardest thing to do during the denial stages. Denial can hit even years later, and there’s nothing wrong with that happening, either. Moving through grief is not a linear experience, and there’s no one right or wrong way to handle it. Continue to work toward returning to yourself, showing up when you’re ready, and letting it all out in the most healthy way possible.
Denial doesn’t mean you’re avoiding your grief. Sometimes, it’s your body protecting you until you’re ready.
When you are, the practice will be here.
