People use the words mindfulness and meditation interchangeably all the time.

Good news: They’re not the same thing.

Bad news: They share enough similarities that it’s incredibly easy to confuse them.

Understanding the difference changes what you’re actually trying to accomplish—not just when you sit down to meditate, but every time you step onto your yoga mat or move through your day.

Think of it this way:

40 days ago, I hit record on my phone, got down into plank, and started a challenge I honestly wasn’t sure I could finish.

Today, I did.

I still can’t believe it’s over, and I can’t believe even more that I actually completed it. At that, as had been the case since Day 25, I also finished all 465 on time. 30 minutes. Six intervals. Five minutes per interval. No make-ups. No other challenge. Just the monster finally conquered.

Today was the first day crossing over 400 push-ups. I knew, especially after the last three days, that if I could finish these on time, I would be able to accomplish Days 29 and 30.

At that, it was such a huge milestone, and one I’d looked up to for weeks. The first major milestone came when I crossed 100 push-ups on Day 14, then again at 200 on Day 20. Hitting 300 on Day 24 was one of the hardest, but now, sitting at the 400 mark, I feel more confident than at any other point in the challenge that I can do this. 

I’ve faced a lot of challenges over the course of this wild 30-Day Push-Up Challenge, but nothing prepared me for the turnaround on Day 25. What started as apprehension turned into my actually thinking, for the first time, that I could get through this.

I did Ascension and Descension throughout the challenge because the 23-minute challenge I did six years ago required them. I was past that now, so I could change the rules if I wanted to.

And I did.

I walked into Day 23 of the 30-Day Push-Up Challenge with a prediction: I was going to surprise myself.

Just like I did six years ago when I tried this for the first time. 

I fought through 23 minutes of hell doing Ascension in COVID, and for years, I wondered if I would be able to do the same thing while taking it from a Descension approach instead.

Today, I tested that theory.

I approached Day 21 differently than I did the last time I had an Ascension Day on Day 15. 

Instead of hitting the timer and immediately dropping into my first push-up to get it out of the way, I took my sweet-ass time.

That probably would’ve driven Day 1 Andrew crazy, but Day 21 Andrew knew better. He had fought battles in this challenge Day 1 Andrew couldn’t actually yet conceive, and he was going to prove why this challenge was meant for a warrior. 

I had to carry twenty-one push-ups into the makeup round, which, on previous days, didn’t feel as impossible as it did today, when I wasn’t sure I could even do one more.

This wasn’t the first time I’d battled difficult moments in my head since starting this challenge. “I don’t want to,” “This is getting hard,” and  “Can I really do this?” became staples in my thoughts.

Usually, my body and mind caught up to each other and worked through whatever I faced together. 

Today was different.

“I need a Savasana.”

Those were the first words out of my mouth after today’s 30-Day Push-Up Challenge workout.

For a yoga teacher, it felt strangely appropriate. Savasana isn’t just about lying down. It’s about allowing your body and your mind to absorb everything that just happened.

Apparently, I needed that more than I realized.

Today changed my entire view on the 30-Day Push-Up Challenge.

The push-ups didn’t get any easier—I’m not sure they ever will, despite how many I do—but, for the first time, they felt possible.

Going into Day 15, I wasn’t completely sure introducing intervals was the right decision. I hoped it was.

Honestly, I needed it to be.

When I woke up this morning, I was dangerously close to shutting down the whole 30-Day Push-Up Challenge.

Not because I physically couldn’t do another workout, but simply because I didn’t want to.

I questioned my motives, got caught up in my head about no one else doing it with me or caring about the videos, and it all suddenly became a burden I wasn’t sure I wanted to carry. I know I created this and did this to myself, for myself, but today I wondered if any of it was actually worth continuing.

Especially since I’m not even sure I can actually make it to the end yet.

Today was the first day in the 30-Day Push-Up Challenge that I didn’t finish within the allotted time.

When the timer ended, I still had four push-ups left.

Oddly enough, I wasn’t upset. Not because I don’t care about the rules.

But because I’d already decided what the rules were.

Long before this challenge began, I had circled Day 11 in my head. Combined with the slow rise until the challenge really gets tough, mixed with this day being the day you realized just how tough it’s going to be, made me believe it would be the day most people would quit. 

The novelty would be gone. The push-ups would finally start to feel heavy. The finish line would still be so far away that it almost wouldn’t seem worth chasing anymore.

Then Day 11 arrived…and I became exactly the person I had predicted.

Today, I failed a push-up for the first time in the 30-Day Push-Up Challenge.

My arms gave out as I was pressing back up, and I collapsed face-first into the floor.

And then I laughed.

Honestly, there was something strangely comforting about it.

Five days in, and I keep waiting for this 30-Day Push-Up Challenge to punch me in the face.

So far, it hasn’t.

That’s not to say the workouts have been effortless. Push-ups and I have never exactly been friends, which is part of the reason I started this challenge in the first place. But Day 5 arrived and…I feel fine.

For now.

I hate push-ups.

An odd thing to say, I know, given the announcement of a 30-day pushup challenge that will take us on a journey of grit, consistency, and community.

So why the hell am I doing this to myself?

We’re used to being good at things. Or at least getting good quickly. And when we don’t, we either push harder or check out completely. Yoga doesn’t really reward either of those approaches.

And that’s usually where the disconnect starts.

The last thing you’re likely thinking about during your grief process is anything to do with joy or happiness. Depending on where you are in your journey, you may be more willing to move forward toward that sense of healing. You also may not, which is equally okay, but it’s what we’ll look at today anyway.

Our bodies store a lot more emotions than we think or give them credit for, particularly in our hips. Many people feel emotional after a deep yin practice because they’ve awakened emotions they otherwise considered dormant. Awaken all the good, bad, and ugly within you.

Depression comes with many emotions. Maybe it makes you angry and snippy. Maybe you feel numb and like doing nothing, or that you’ll never be happy again. Maybe you feel everything all at once, or maybe you feel nothing at all. Maybe you’re just wondering why all of this is happening.

Today’s practice taps into the duality of depression, starting off with building heat and moving quickly, then slowing things down immediately and tapping into the emotions you may have blocked yourself from feeling.

When tragedy strikes, it’s easy to get wrapped up in thoughts of “why.” Why did this happen to us? Why did this happen to them? Why does this hurt so much?

On the journey toward acceptance, this is the stage where you spend the most time wishing things were different or hoping you can change what is happening to you. Wherever you are, the grief yoga practice is here for you.

If you’re newer to yoga, “Ujjayi” becomes just another word you don’t understand. You’re moving, you’re trying not to fall out of a pose, and suddenly you’re supposed to control your breathing in a very specific way? And, at that, one that’s often encouraged to “engage,” but rarely comes with any instruction on how to do so?

Like most things in yoga, however, once it clicks, your Ujjayi breath becomes one of the most powerful tools in your practice.