Day 13: Why Am I Still Doing This?

When I woke up this morning, I was dangerously close to shutting down the whole 30-Day Push-Up Challenge.

Not because I physically couldn’t do another workout, but simply because I didn’t want to.

I questioned my motives, got caught up in my head about no one else doing it with me or caring about the videos, and it all suddenly became a burden I wasn’t sure I wanted to carry. I know I created this and did this to myself, for myself, but today I wondered if any of it was actually worth continuing.

Especially since I’m not even sure I can actually make it to the end yet.

Then my boyfriend made me confront my own whining and asked me why I was doing any of this in the first place. 

I immediately started talking about the challenge, the videos, the audience…

He stopped me.

He reminded me that none of those things were ever supposed to be the reason.

The challenge comes first.

The audience comes later.

First, I have to prove to myself that I can actually finish what I started.

That conversation completely changed my perspective.

Finding Proof

The night before, I’d caught a glimpse of my arm while lying in bed and thought, “Huh…”

They looked different.

This morning, after that conversation, I walked over to the mirror on purpose.

I wasn’t looking for perfection.

I was looking for proof.

And I found it.

My arms were already more defined.

My body was changing. I wasn’t a bodybuilder all of a sudden or anything, but the changes were enough to stop and make me think, “If this is what a couple of hundred push-ups have done…what happens after a few thousand?”

Rediscovering the Motivation

For the first time since this challenge began, I stopped asking myself why I was still doing it.

Instead, I started asking myself how far I could actually go, and that shift changed everything.

The workout didn’t suddenly become easier, nor did the push-ups magically require less effort.

But my mind stopped fighting me every step of the way.

Instead of dragging myself through every rep, I found myself encouraging myself through them.

I noticed the difference almost immediately.

I finished the first six minutes without dropping to my knees once.

By the end of the workout, I only had six push-ups left to make up.

Yes, that was two more than yesterday.

But it also came with 13 additional push-ups in the workout itself.

To me, that felt like progress.

Today reminded me that mindset isn’t just something I teach in yoga or strength classes.

It isn’t just something that sounds good written on Instagram.

It changes outcomes.

The mindset you bring into a challenge determines, in many ways, the challenge you’ll experience.

This morning, I woke up asking,

“Why am I still doing this?”

Tonight, I’m going to bed asking,

“How far can I actually take this?”

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