Day 9: The first time I failed a push-up

Today, I failed a push-up for the first time in the 30-Day Push-Up Challenge.

My arms gave out as I was pressing back up, and I collapsed face-first into the floor.

And then I laughed.

Part of it was the absurdity of the whole thing. Part of it was the realization that it had finally happened. And, let’s be real, part of it was also because there was a camera recording the entire thing.

But honestly, there was something strangely comforting about it.

As the person who created this challenge, filmed it, and invited others to join me, I can be tempted to feel like I need to have it all figured out. To be the coach. To be “the example.” To be the person who makes it look easy.

Well.

I fell on my face.

And honestly, I’m glad it happened.

Not because I enjoyed it, but because it was a reminder that this challenge is supposed to be difficult. If someone else falls on their face doing this challenge someday, now they’ll know they’re in good company.

The Fear Settles In

The funny thing is that the fall itself wasn’t what bothered me.

The panic came later.

Because once the workout ended, I started doing math.

Today was Day 9.

45 push-ups.

And I struggled.

That realization hit me hard.

If I’m already struggling on Day 9, how am I supposed to make it through Day 30? How am I supposed to complete 465 push-ups in a single day when I haven’t even reached 200 total push-ups for the entire challenge yet?

For a little while, that thought consumed me.

Fear told me I couldn’t possibly make it to Day 30. 

A New Mindset Takes Hold

After my miniature panic attack, I realized I was looking at the challenge the wrong way.

I wasn’t just tired because I had done 45 push-ups today.

I was tired because I had done 45 push-ups today after 36 yesterday, 28 the day before that, 21 the day before that, and every other push-up since Day 1.

For the first time, I started to understand that this challenge isn’t made up of individual workouts.

It’s one long workout spread across 30 days.

What you’ve already done matters.

The push-ups from yesterday matter.

The push-ups from last week matter.

The work you’ve already put in determines what you’re capable of doing next.

That realization didn’t make Day 30 feel any less intimidating, but Day 30 isn’t today’s problem.

Only Day 9 is.

Tomorrow will be Day 10’s problem.

And so on until whatever version of me eventually arrives at Day 30 stronger than the version sitting here writing this right now.

At least, that’s the hope.

For now, all I know is that I failed a push-up today.

I laughed.

I got back up.

And I finished anyway.

Maybe that’s the real lesson from Day 9.

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